tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC December 16, 2015 11:35pm-12:37am EST
i'm jimmy. i'm the hose. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. we have a good show, an exciting show for you tonight. tonight the front-runner a amongst all 485 republican candidates for president, donald trump is here with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] remarkable, when donald trump entered this race back in june, anyone could have predicted that in december he'd be leading by almost 30 points. and actually 1 person could have predicted it and he's here tonight. his name is donald trump. [ cheers and applause ] we know donald trump as a businessman, author, reality show star. but our children will know him as the president who blue up the moon blew up the moon for being a loser. there's extra heat heightened
guillermo usually provides. bomb-sniffing dogs in the audience. everybody had to be wanded. like the airport but without a sin that bon. mr. trump was in las vegas toss has night for the fifth republican debate, the third most watched primary debate ever. 18 million view tuned in. more people watched the debate than watched the season finale of "the voice." for real. maybe carly fiorina is the new gwen stefani, i don't know. the primary focus of the debate was national security. donald trump said to stop isis internet. f the ten donald trump goes on the internet but it seems to me there's a lot of penetration happening there already. ted cruz said he would carpet bomb isis until the sand glowed, then it was pointed out isis was centered in a city with a major
should only target isis which means ted cruz has invented a carpet bomb that only kills the bad guys which is remarkable. i don't know why we didn't think of that before. [ cheers and applause ] they introduce the candidates at the top of the debate. one of my writers told me when ted cruise was introduced his 7-year-old son said, "oh, god, that guy's limp." dead cruise has been moving up in the polls but still only the fourth most popular cruise behind tom, penelope, and carnival. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] dr. ben carson began with a moment of silence, then continued the ka debate with many, many more moments of silence. although he may have been taking a power nap, i don't know. the worse of dead's exchanges, stead cruise and marco rubio got into it about immigration. the majority of the spark was between donald trump and jeb bush. >> we need toughness.
he's a very nice person. but we need tough people, we need toughness. we need intelligent and we need tough. jeff said when they come across the border they come as an act of love -- >> you said september 30th when. >> am i talking or are you talking? >> i'm talking. >> you can go back. you interrupt med. >> september 30 youth said when. >> apologize, jeb? no. am i a howed to finish? >> 1 at a time, go ahead, mr. trump. >> so again -- >> your when please. >> you're trying to build up your energy but it isn't working very well. >> these freestyle rap battles are getting a lot wider since the '90s. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: jeb bush as you know has suffered from the perception he isn't tough. has night he made a concerted effort to fight back to back. >> the simple fact is if you think this is tough and you're not being treated fairly -- >> this isn't tough. i wish it was always as always. >> dealing with islamic terrorism that exists. this is a tough business.
i know you're a tough guy, jeb. >> we need a heat leader you're never going to be president of the united states by insult ugging your way when. >> i'm at 42 and you're at 3 so so far i'm doing well. if you're moving over further and further. pretty soon you're going to be off the end. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: then he took his lunch money and pulled his underwear up to his neck. py my big estake-a way is whoever wins the election, we need to force jeb bush and donald trump in a house together with cameras on them 24 hours a day. one of my friends was watching last night. he send said it reminded him of guesses we had on our show earlier this year. look here. kermit and miss piggy. pretty spot-on, right? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is a news report, a photograph was taken at a jeb
>> take a look at this photo tweeted by the washington pose. this was taken during has night's presidential debate at a jeb bush watch party in miami. great turnout. and that's probably the guy who set up the chairs. jeb bush sent a strange e-mail to his supporters this week. he sent a letter that promised he would stop e-mailing them for the rest of the year if they donate there 25 for to his campaign. ashley. ashley, if you chip in $25 or more right now we will make sure you don't receive any of these fund-raising e-mails for the rest of the year. so for there 25 he'll leave you a loan for alone for two weeks. this plan seek seems to be working. the bush campaign took it one step further. >> jeb push bush understands what america needs. what americans need right now is
donate $25 to the bush campaign today and jeb won't get send you another e-mail for the recess of 2015. for a $50 donation jeb won't e-mail you in 2016 either. for $100, jeb will drop out of the race altogether. jeb bush. he doesn't want to be here. help him go home. >> i'm jeb bush and i a prove this message. >> jimmy: click your heels together, it will be okay. christmas is almost here. every year guillermo and i put on elf costumes to lightn santa's workload. santa is very busy this time of year. we help help him by interviewing kids to determine if they've been naughty or nice. today we had a chat with a young lady who turned out to be very, very nice. >> well, hello. yeah, come on in. how you doing? >>. >> jimmy: thank you, i'll take your note. how are you? >> good. >> jimmy: my name is jimmy, i'm
>> hi. >> jimmy: this is guillermo. he's also an elf. >> hi. >> jimmy: what is your name? >> elin. >> jimmy: elin? like tiger woods' ex-wife? yes? >> yeah. my name is eline. >> jimmy: let's see, elin, you've written a letter to santa claus. you said, i want a bar by bie playhouse. >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: i want a kitty walking set. >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: i want a playhouse for me. >> yes. >> jimmy: and beanie babies. merry christmas, elin. that seems reasonable. have you been naughty or nice? >> nice. >> jimmy: tell me some of the nice things you've done. >> i've been really sweet to my friends at preschool. >> jimmy: that's nice, that's good. what else? >> and i've been giving so much love to my mommy and daddy. >> jimmy: aww. that's nice. what else? >> and i really love them. >> jimmy: aww. that's nice.
>> and when -- my dad dad 8dy's going to be my daddy forever. >> jimmy: aww, that's nice. >> guillermo: that's nice. >> jimmy: what are some of the naughty things that you've done this year? >> i have done nothing naughty! >> guillermo: nothing? >> nothing naughty. >> guillermo: not even 1 thing? >> not even one thing. >> jimmy: a little bit? >> nope. >> jimmy: tiny? >> no. >> jimmy: somewhat when. >> no. >> jimmy: huh? >> nope. >> jimmy: huh? >> nope. >> jimmy: heh? >> nope. >> jimmy: huh? >> nope. >> jimmy: huh. >> i've done nothing naughty, nothing. >> jimmy: santa's been watching you. he says there have been a few when nothing big. but he says there have been a few little naughty things that you've done. you tell me if you've done any of these things. >> well when -- i really don't want to tell them. >> jimmy: you can tell us.
>> just- >> jimmy: teeny little things. they're not big things. they're nothing. >> teeny, tiny when. >> jimmy: you're a child, why would anyone care about these little things you've done? >> nothing naughty. >> jimmy: there have been so many good things. tiny little bad things. >> yes, just tiny. for instance. sometimes you make not to nice school's dresses. >> yes. >> jimmy: because they don't look good, you're just trying to help them. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you're like the fashion police at school. yes? you're like a young zone rivers. >> i'm really, really sweet to all my friends. >> jimmy: it says here you can sometimes be bossy with your friends at school. >> nope. i never. >> guillermo: never?
>> a teeny bitty bit. >> jimmy: like nothing. like who cares. why is this even on the less? what's wrong with santa? that's so tiny 83 even seat, it's so small. >> guillermo: i don't seat. >> jimmy: it's like nothing. if that was the food you had to eat you'd dollar to death, right? >> well, i when i eat a lot of vegetables. >> jimmy: it was a metaphor. it was nothing to do with actual food. please have a seat. let's keep going through this less. >> i just love everybody -- >> jimmy: you love everyone. >> i love everyone i know. >> jimmy: is there none anyone you don't like? >> nope. >> jimmy: are there any bad dead kids at school you can tell us about? >> grace why has been bad. >> jimmy: grace, now we're getting to the good stuff what did grace do? >> she has been really mean and not letting me play with her. >> jimmy: oh, boy. should we tell santa about this? >> yeah.
she should get no toys? >> right. >> jimmy: right, okay. you love everyone, though? >> i like everyone. except grace. >> jimmy: except for gracie. >> except for bracesy gracie. >> jimmy: when i look through this less and i see all the good things that you've done, then i think about the bad things, i feel like they're so small. right? >> yeah, right. >> jimmy: how big are they, would you say? >> just- like that big. >> jimmy: it's getting bigger, actually. it's bigger than you actually originally when how big? >> like that. >> jimmy: yeah, because before it was like this, but now i feel like it's like this. >> yeah, it's like this. >> jimmy: what we want you to do now before christmas is get it down to zero. get it down to nothing. only good things until christmas. okay? >> got it. >> jimmy: >> jimmy: i think this is going to be a great year for you. very nice to meet you. >> guillermo: nice meeting you. here, let me give you this.
>> jimmy: can you say thank you? >> thank you. >> jimmy: see, she's so nice. >> guillermo: she's so nice, she's so sweet. >> jimmy: it's like this, the bad things. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. we have to take a break. we'll be back with our christmas gift to you, a brand-new edition of "celebrities reading mean tweets" and donald trump too, so stick a round we'll be right back. (vo) some call it giving back. we call it share the love. during our share the love event, get a new subaru, and we'll donate $250 to those in need. bringing our total donations to over sixty-five million dollars. and bringing love where it's needed most. love. it's what makes a subaru,
tuncle dan, what did you get us? for what? oh... r you didn't get them anything, did you? yea. yea we did. yea we did. look how happy your niecesv are with my gifts! bought a million things,r probably spent a fortune. rno! it's all old navy, r they're having a huge sale this weekend, p everything is half priced. pguess what, that's where we're on our way to! you're welcome.p thank you for everything... you're very welcome... pfor the presents we're going to get you, at old navy. r old navy was my idea! p you're looking at my presents! pwe have a plan to get more presents! pit's gonna make your head explode! t you are lying! we'll do it online! we're gonnapgo get in line! what do you want from us?! we'll be thepfirst people there! innovative sonicare technology with up to 27% more brush movements versus oral b. get healthier gums in 2 weeks guaranteed. innovation and you. philips sonicare save when you buy the most loved rechargeable toothbrush brand in america. arturito soup! okay, okay. arturito soup! hi! arturito soup? follow me. r campbell's new star wars inspired soups. arturito soup! yaaa!
fact. advil pain relievers are used by more households than any other leading brand. to treat their aches and pains more people reach for advil. relief doesn't get any better than this. advil. t discover card p hey! so i'm looking at my bill and my fico credit score's onv here. yeah! we give you your ficorcredit score. for free! t awesomesauce! the only person i know that sayst that is... v lisa? v julie? we've already given more thant 175 million free fico creditp scores to our cardmembers. p
"star wars: the force a wakens" doesn't open tilled from but it's made more than there 100 million in advance ticket details sales. the force is so strong it might even wake ben carson. "star wars" will open on over 4,100 screens this weekend. they're showing to it the astronauts on the international space station. which is an awesome place to see "star wars." it's an awesome place to see "star wars," terrible place to set move why "gravity." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: many of the wars move moving stars happen on so help you. as donald trump proved most every day. the twitterverse can be a battlefield. from time to time we like to shine a light saber on the nasty things people pose by to celebrities by having those celebrities read read those tweets a loud and lo and behold we've we've done it again in tonight's edition of "mean tweets."
bleep julia due louis-dreyfus 50-year-old ass still on tv and winning awards and bleep bitch you need to retire. okay. i'll retire. >> than shaun pen, you're rude. dumb, rude, and full of farts. stain stanky shaap s snae. >> it must have hard for liv tyler to have a father who's a giant ball sac. >> elizabeth bangs is a whore. >> daniel radcliffe is one of good's most unattractive creations. >> dire stein dunst's teeth bother the bleep out of me me. they look like tic-tacs throwing gang signs. >> when i grow up i hope i can be as ugly in as many different stair hairstyles as jason schwartz man. >> i swear if i see michael become jordan i'm going to slap
calls a moustache off his lip. said? >> i'd rather stick a beaver in my anus than sit through them. >> julianna mar ghoul less is one of the fine is ugly womenive thank you. >> colin farrell in "true detective" looks like he smells like depressed couch farts. >> julianna brewster is the next thinks her butt boobs are an asset. it's not. >> i have matthew perry
what's the matter with my head? am. >> lake bell's face is about as beautiful as a worn-out leather boot. #f. gulf of mexico gmug. >> sarah paulson is a nowing when she yells. or cries. or talk talks. or exists. bite me bleep. that's all i care about that, you can bite me in the bleep, bleep. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: some take it better than others. tonight on the show music from gary clark junior. we'll be right back with donald trump! [ cheers and applause ] ft... ...you can't get from those other guys. hurry to t-mobile today and get four lines with up to six gigs each. just thirty bucks a line. that's six gigs each, plus unlimited video streaming with binge on. stream netflix, hbo now, hulu, and more... ...without using your data. and just in time for the holidays, unwrap the hottest samsung
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone. tonight from austin, texas, this is -- his latest album is "the story of the of sonny boy slim," gary clark jr. is here. ton tomorrow night scene line sea increase will be here to talk about new year's eve, and we'll have music from gavin james. please please join us then. there came a point in our first guest's life when he had to make a decision as to whether to buy the united states or just become president. as he may mention, he is the frontrunner for the republican nomination for the highest office in the land, please welcome donald trump. [ cheers and applause ]
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for coming. for honoring your commitment to are here. unfortunately you were unable to do this when we were in new york. >> that's right. >> jimmy: you came satisfy south via south wes airlines? >> actually i did. we came froms a. to do this specifically. he's been trusk terrific. he stuck up with me, how long a go with barbara walters. >> jimmy: i got in a lot of trouble for that. >> that's yes like you. you went against the establishment, we like that. >> jimmy: that's yes get fired all the time. >> you're doing just fine. >> jimmy: when was the has time manner? how long has been? >> i will travel that way. sometimes when you go to wa, you
think it's great. i like it, i love people, i'm with me people. >> jimmy: did you have fun in las vegas? >> i had a great time, i thought it was an a mazing evening. it's become like the suitable, it's incredible. >> jimmy: it is crazy. >> last cycle you had 1 million, 2 million people, they would have considered it a big event. nobody went wanted when the debates. then something happened this cycle and i won't tell you what it is. and fox had 24 million people. and everybody said, what happened? krn had the big esis audience in the history of cnn. has night i guess they had 18 million people. >> jimmy: you you suggested cnn should pay you -- >> they should pay me a lot. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i happen to a agree with you. it's not like they run these things commercial free. there are commercials there. >> they fake a fortune.
seconds to there $250,000 for 30 seconds. >> you get none of that. >> zippo. >> jimmy: that's a shame, you could use more money. >> what did it want to dei was going to strike and say, pay it to the wounded warriors, give it to the vets. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: >> you know the business. this is something they didn't even want these debates. they were like, they were forced to take them for licensing purposes. right? now all of a sudden it's become a big deal. i guess fox was the biggest in the history of cable, 24 million people. >> jimmy: seemed like last night you were making a concerted effort to be nice tore your fellow candidates. >> it's true. >> jimmy: you said nice things about when you said jeb bush is a nice guy, huckabee be, carson a fine man, ted cruz you over the weekend you said acts like a maniac, then you said you thought head a wonderful >> right. >> jimmy: that was intentional? did you decide to be nicer? >> no, i would like to see the republican party come together
divisive in the sense that i've been hitting people pretty hard. >> jimmy: a little bit, yeah. >> and ultimately, you know, we have to come together and get this thing done. and i'm having a great time. >> jimmy: do you think ted cruz is scared of you? >> no, i don't think so. >> jimmy: i think he is. >> you do? okay. >> jimmy: i think he's very, very careful. >> do you? >> jimmy: do you think jeb bush is scared of you or just scared in general? >> i think he's scared. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> he is having a hard time. >> jimmy: do you think he wants to run for president? >> no, no. he was a happy warrior, but he's never been a happy warrior. and he's having a hard time running. he's really had a he was supposed to be -- because of the because of the name, everyone thought he was the odds-on favorite. and i defined him. i gave him this term, low energy. i said he's a low-energy individual. we do not need in in this country low energy, we need high energy. >> jimmy: we do need high energy.
but we do need high energy. >> i think jeb's a nice person. i don't know if he's enjoying it. i think he's a nice person. >> jimmy: someone asked jeb if he would kill baby hitler, and hadn't he wouldn't. >>. do you think he would kill baby hitler? >> no, he's too nice. >> jimmy: would you kill baby hitler? >> no comment. >> jimmy: no comment. i feel like baby hitler would kill us if he got the chance. >> that was a vicious baby, let me tell you. >> jimmy: what happens during the commercial breaks? during the debates? do you talk talk? >> why you have a little time reserve off. you'll be going after someone, then during the commercial, hey, how rou doing, where you going for dinner? it's the crazy ichbs iest thing. it's politics, it's all talk. that happened in real life you'd never speak to the people. >> jimmy: it seems like you're just kind of figuring things out. you take things personally when things are said about you, then you when whatever they give you, you come back with like a million times more. >> well, it's been to me an a
im, look, you and i have fend been friends in a sense because your show, so long ago, and you have -- tell me, do you know how well he's doing in the ratings department? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks to you. >> oh, by the way, and tonight's going to be a very big night. >> jimmy: tonight will be a big night. >> that's 1 thing. >> jimmy: it has nothing to do with me but it will be. >> i really have enjoyed the process. it's been when. >> jimmy: are there too many candidates? >> yes. >> jimmy: should they re ate-style eliminate someone every week? wouldn't that be nice? >> you have guys like pataki, he has zero. linsey gram, he has zero. people should get out. i don't know what they're doing. they're on the children's stage. they call it the children's stage. they're talking. they have nothing going. and at a certain point you have together out. we have people has night. look, it would be nice if you had four, five people, they could really discuss issues. when you have that many, there's not when there's no time. >> jimmy: it is hard to talk.
more substantive because there essentially anyone. >> yeah, that's true. >> jimmy: so okay, so i want to take a break. i want to ask you and about when first of all my friend guillermo is very upset with you. >> he's a very famous man. >> jimmy: he's very famous. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and he's very worried. donald trump is here. [ cheers and applause ] layover. 24 hours. hello, reykjavik. oh, so that' s how you spell it.
oh, cool. hungry. fish, anyone? hello, seventh waterfall of the day. hello, duck boat. hello, sheep? itchy icelandic sweaters and no foreign transaction fees. one last look. ahh. triple points. re off. s next? carry american express gold. s more than a card. s the gear that gets it done. (woman laughing) are you finished yet? no, it's getting better! -mhmm... (woman laughing) do you do this every time you clean? are you done?
at&t knows the best kind of holiday... is the kind where everyone gets what they wished for. make this holiday extra happy when you buy one get one free on our most popular smartphones... like the samsung galaxy s6. buy one get one free. so spread some cheer. and capture every minute of it. right now at at&t, buy one get one free on our most popular smartphones. [ dog barks ] [ bark ] there it is! [ gasps ] oh no! look, the sky's awake!
be unstoppable. this is my fight song take back my life song (music) let's watch this. no, this. how about this? no, no, no. this is what we're gonna watch. (all) yessssss! tt0w!ti(h,! %4@-h@h tt0w!ti(h,! el@-bg$ tt0w!ti(h,! ed@-de@ tt0w!ti(h,% )8h-$;< tt0w!ti(h,% kzh-9t@ tt0w!ti(h,% n-h-l=l tt0w!ti(h,% 0ph-rzt tt0w!ti(h,% s"h-b(4 tt0w!ti(h,% ueh-ajd
test text1 plain [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are back with donald trump. so has night carly fiorina when you saiding some i thought was very interesting. you said you wish, i'm paraphrasing, you wish we'd had that there 4 trillion, $5 trillion we what'sed on the war back to spend on the country, on education, on hospitals, et cetera. and carly fiorina said, that's what president obama when i can't believe a republican candidate for president would say something like that. >> dead hear her say that. we've spent probably $5 trillion. how about all the lives gone? just gone. thousands and thousands. actually hundreds of thousands. and if you look at both sides because you have to look at both sides, millions of lives. trillion. what we do we have? there's nothing, it's a mess, worse than ever before. >> jimmy: why sit anti-republican to say you wish
>> all i have to say is this, we have spent a tremendous when if we would have done nothing, let the dictators stay the hell where they were, we wouldn't have the migrations, we wouldn't have all the problems, we could have spent there 5 trillion on rebuilding our roads, schools, hospitals, infrastructure, airports. i made that mount. honestly i don't care if people like it. i do the right thing, i say the right thing. i think maybe that's why we resonate. we owe there 19 trillion. it's going to be $21 million with kritss with this new new budget. we have to bring our country back. for us to be playing this horrible game and stooping when and the bad part is now that we're there we have to doing some. you have people with a lot of evil intentions over there. so we've got to doing some. but it's a tough situation. >> jimmy: you've speaking of saying the right thing you talked about sending everyone back to back who's not in this country legally. guillermo came here illegally. thank god he got he went through
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: first of all, he's a doeshl. i feel like that should count forring some. >> it's a major star, folks. >> jimmy: aren't the people when don't we want people who want to be here so badly that they will risk everything to be in america and to be an american? aren't these the people that we want in this country? >> you know, it is true and -- [ cheers and applause ] >> i have thousands of hispanics that have worked for me over the years, work for me now, we have thousands. mexico, all over the place. they're unbelievable people. what i'm saying is they cough have to come in through a legal process. they're going to want come in and we want to have that door. we're going to build the ball wall but we're going to have a big beautiful door. we want people to come in, we want people to come in legally. if you look at the polls that come out on the hispanics, the people that are here and have gone through the process, they're here legally, i'm doing great. i'm going to win the hispanic vote, in my opinion. we're going to see what happens.
a great rip with with the hispanics for a simple reason. i'm going to create jobs. i'm bringing the jobs back from china. i'm bringing the jobs back from japan and vietnam. we're losing all of our business. we're losing all of our manufacturing -- >> jimmy: i feel like in a way we should let the mexicans in and kick a lot of americans out. a lot of americans should be kicked on the out. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what the problem is. >> i'll tell you what. we want people that are going to get in there work, turn the country around, we want to see some great things happen. i think that's going to happen. i put in a tax plan where the taxes are going to be reduced for the middle class at a tremendous rate and are. and business taxes way down. and we're going to make this a very strong and dynamic economy. >> jimmy: you i a soup have a group of advisers. >> i do. >> jimmy: i a soup, i don't know. maybe you go on your own. >> i like to think for myself but i have people. >> jimmy: did anyone try to talk you out of saying, we should temporarily ban muslims from entering the united states?
and i have many, many friends who are muslim. and they're great people. and they actually, some of them, not all of them i will tell you, some of them aren't so thrilled with what i said. but many of them called me and they said, you know, donald, you're right, we have a problem. there is a problem. >> jimmy: but isn't it unamerican and wrong to discriminate against people based on their religion? [ cheers and applause ] >> i'm forward, but look, we have people coming into our country that are looking to do tremendous harm. you look at the when look at paris, look at what happened in press. these people, they did not come okay? look at what happened to paris, look twapd california in california with 14 dead, other people are going to die they're problem. there's a tremendous hatred out there there. what i want to do, you can't solve a problem until you find out what's the rood root cause. i want to find out what is the problem, what's going on?
call me and say thank you. if you remember, when dead that a week ago, was bedlam. all of a sudden when and you watch has night and see people talking? they're saying, trump has a point, we have together down to the problem. the people that are frien of mine that call, they said donald, you've done us a tremendous service because we do have a problem and we have to find out when. >> jimmy: those may have been crank calls. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you check the caller i guess d.? >> they mean mean it. we've got together to the bottom of it. manners being blown out of the sky. there's bad stuff happening. >> there is a lot of bad stuff. do you think there's any truth to the argument that when you do something like this, say something like this, it helps recruiting, it helps isis because it makes people angry? be some who's muslim and never had any of these thoughts goes, why can't i go to disneyland? >> i really didn't when this has come up probably 2 days a go. a couple of people brought this up. i don't buy it.
>> jimmy: you don't? >> i don't buy that argument. we need strength in this country, we don't have strength. dissipated. i'm the 1 that was against the war. on your show way talking about i'm the 1 that was against going 92 iraq, i said you're going to destabilize the middle east. even though i was a businessman, for whatever reason, i guess i've always gotn a lot of publicity, for whatever reason. if you look in 20 owe 4, 20 owe 3, a long time ago, i said, don't do iraq, you're going to 73 day stiblize the middle east and raun is going to take over the middle east. and be some else, maybe. the be some else is isis. they've taken the oil. a lot of it. and raun is taking over iraq. and what have we done? spent $312 trillion, thousands of lives, wounded warriors all over the place. and what do we have? we have nothing. so stupid. and now we have together back to try and figure out what's happening. but you look at what's happened in the middle east. it is a mess. if they did nothing, it would
>> jimmy: donald trump is here. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] oh, no, i forgot to buy my holiday presents! if i order on kohl's website i can pick it up today in the store. >> 1 one store. one man. one z. tomorrow on "guillermo's present problem." look at me all together now r all together now everything techie for everyone. kohl's.
at net10 wireless, r and keep your network and number, too. only on the bring your ownt phone plan. now get unlimited talkv and text p plus 5gb of high-speed data, t for $50 a month. net10 wireless. innovative sonicare technology with up to 27% more brush movements versus oral b. get healthier gums in 2 weeks guaranteed. innovation and you. philips sonicare save when you buy the most loved rechargeable toothbrush brand in america. just press clean and let roomba from irobot t help with your everyday messes. roomba navigatest your entire home r cleaning up pet hair and debris fort up to 2 hours. r which means your floors are always clean. t you and roomba from irobot
with john mccain to strengthen veterans' healthcare. bernie sanders. a consistent, principled, and effective leader. building a future to believe in. sanders: i'm bernie sanders and i approve this message. erline test text1 italics test text1 plain >> jimmy: we're back with donald trump. donald, for tom parade braid why has been dragged 92 this, braid why has no balls. what do you make of this? >> i guess head a news conference. and he's a very good friend of mine. he's a great guy. this is a great guy and a winner. a champion. he's fantastic. now if i were in in new england and said that the place would go crazy. here, they're tired of getting beat be. >> jimmy: we have no football team so we have no opinion on any of this. >> tom's a great guy.
he was when everyone was saying, what about donald trump, what about this, what about that? they had to end the news conference. i want to tell you train is a winner. >> jimmy: are you going to see "star wars"? >> i might. >> jimmy: did you watch any of the "star wars" move whys? >> maybe 1 or 2. i'm so busy 87 a lot of time for this to be honest. great stuff. >> jimmy: great stuff, okay. >> george lucas, imwhen no, the whole thing, the job he's done is fantastic. >> jimmy: did you know the screen writer of "back to the future 2" based the character biff on you? >> i like that. where's my cut? i want a cut. >> jimmy: this issing some that i thought was very funny. your doctor released when as tradition goes meteorologists. >> right. >> jimmy: your doctor says, to come whom it may concern, i've been the personal fit of mr. donald j. trump since 1980, his laboratory decembers were astonishingly excellent, his physical strength and stamina
him mr. trump i can state unequestion of question ofcally will be the health i esindividual ever elected to the presidency. >> whoa. [ cheers and applause ] love that. >> jimmy: how do you get a doctor when. >> you know i said, dock, i want to tell you, i'll be the health i it is espresident ever. and helped, i think i a agree. i think he probably took my words and put them down. >> jimmy: by the way when. >> a good doctor. so far a great doctor. >> jimmy: this is his picture on took. this is your doctor. >> wow. >> jimmy: what kind of a doctor is this? >> wow. [ laughter ] >> i see a much different look in the office. >> jimmy: do you do your own christmas shopping? >> well, i'm not big for the christmas shopping. i get a few people gifts. >> jimmy: your wife, will you get her a trump robe from the hotel? >> that's what i like. i a agree. i like doing that. no it's a great time of the year. i love this time, especially in new york, i love this time. >> jimmy: i know you don't like to talk about how much money you have?
you know, maybe i wouldn't be as rich orring some and i'd never tile my papers. you run for president, you're really doing the big exposure. >> jimmy: most people try to down play. >> i don't down play. i filed. everyone said when because they thought i'd never run because i'd never file, maybe he's not as rich. i filed and the numbers are much much bigger. >> jimmy: you're very, veriry rich. >> it's turned out to be a great company. i have great set assets. i have great everything. >> jimmy: how many books have you written? >> about 12, business sellers. >> jimmy: never a children's book? >> i want to do that. >> jimmy: i would like to make a trillion dollars, whatever it is that you have, also. so i've goes is written a book that i put your name on. okay? and it's called "winners aren't losers." it's for children. [ cheers and applause ] may i read it to you? >> yes, i like it. i like it ". "winners aren't losers by donald janet jackson trump."
there's winners like me. a lose certificate a loser which 1 will you be? winners do deals and winners get rich while sad little losers just sit there and bitch. seller. >> jimmy: my daughter loves it. the doing is a loser and frankly i pity it. this doing did bad deals. this dog is an idiot. and mr. bear he must feel like a cruiser. this lobster's a loser, throw him in the pot. i like a lobster who doesn't get caught. those losers are failures who get nothing done. just do what i do and you'll be number one. now here are some frogs i do not like at all. we miscellaneous quick kick these frogs out and then build a wall. oh the places you'll go on your yacht, on your manner, with your suits from milan and your wives
or the buildings you'd build oh the wealth you'll a mass, oh the people a round you all kissing your ass. there are two people kinds of people which 1 by will you be? a loser
like them? do you want to finish? or a winner -- >> like me. >> jimmy: donald trump, everybody. thanks for coming. we'll be right back with music from gary clark jr. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by samsung. [barks] are those... you there... stormtroopers! halt! turn here. go go! follow them! bb-8!